Urban Lucubration

Observations on misanthropy, anonymity, and the value of silence.

March 24, 2011

On Flight

I am looking for a fresh start.

I wonder why it is that people idealize and romanticize the idea of starting anew - tabula rasa; clean slate. They're still the same person, they will continue making the same mistakes, no matter where or how far they run.

One can flee to another city halfway across the world; lost amid the gray, gray canvas of nameless faces going nowhere. But the first night he rests, he remembers that the sky is still the same, and the clouds floating by are the same ones as the night before, and the night before, and the night before that.

Nothing really changes. The only thing that changes is that when you awake in your new life, you add another notch to your bedpost, and run again. Except, you tell yourself, this time will be different.

It never is.


The Faustian Man said...

I think if one is to find the "right" place. He will find that all of the things he thought of as negatives in their personality will become necessities, I don't want to say "positives."

It's hard to explain, without watering down the meaning.

Have you ever read Tonio Kröger by Thomas Mann? His predicament was different. Yet, much like Joyce's Stephen Dedalus, he too knew he had to escape the confines around him. He vowed to live on silence, exile, and cunning.

I would say moving is not so much a place where you can start new, but never start.

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